Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
