He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
