She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
