he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
