I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
