Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
