it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
