It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
