I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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