I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
