Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize