Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
