he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
