He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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