Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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