everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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