we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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