Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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