ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
