I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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