The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
