I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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