I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
