is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
