Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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