Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
