nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
