But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
