I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
