ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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