she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
