Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
