He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Bang-toberfest begins!!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
