I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i drank out of a bidet.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
