they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
