But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
