Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
