Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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