We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
