you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
