Your tits are I can't wait for
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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