marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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