She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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