Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
