Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize