No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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