In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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