She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
