thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
