It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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