So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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