Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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