THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
