better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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