u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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