omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
