His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
