I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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