Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
