; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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