It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
